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A drunken man was wondering around the parking lot of a bar, bumping into every car and then rubbing the roofs of the cars. ~~~The manager comes out of the bar and stops the guy. "What the heck are you doing? " he asks the drunk. ~~~"I'm looking for my car, and I can't find it. " ~~~"So how does feeling the roof help you? " He asked the drunk. ~~~"Well," the drunk replied. "MY car has two blue lights and a siren on the roof!! "
A man goes to a bar with his dog. He goes up to the bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says "You can't bring that dog in here! " The guy, without missing a beat, says "This is my seeing-eye dog. " "Oh man, " the bartender says, "I'm sorry, here, the first one's on me. " The man takes his drink and goes to a table near the door. Another guy walks in the bar with a Chihuahua. The first guys sees him, stops him and says "You can't bring that dog in here unless you tell him it's a seeing-eye dog. " The second man graciously thanks the first man and continues to the bar. He asks for a drink. The bartender says "Hey, you can't bring that dog in here! "The second man replies "This is my seeing-eye dog. " The bartender says, "No, I don't think so. They do not have Chiwauas as seeing-eye dogs. " The man pauses for a half-second and replies "What?!?! They gave me a Chihuahu*!? "
A number twelve walks into a bar and asks the barman for a pint of beer.~~~"Sorry I can't serve you," states the barman.~~~"Why not?! " asks the number twelve with anger showing in its voice.~~~"You're under 18," replies the barman.
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August 21, 2014